What does this really mean in a practical sense - The courage to begin… and the Heart to Finish?
I think this sums up most challenges. Over the years, I’ve spoken to countless people and leaders in the US and several other countries as a result of my business.
Jim and I realized early on that we wanted more options and a different life soon after we began our respective careers in speech pathology and aeronautical engineering. We were prepared to work… we just wanted to end up with what was important to us and our family. Like many of you, we wondered how to make that happen? Ultimately, we did what we knew to do. We began by looking for other avenues that provided more control over our time and the ability to do something together. For each person, it’s something different, but for us, that was the initial desire. As a result of our search, we pursued a business that held an “end result” that we wanted — although certainly not the process that we would have imagined! The Amway business was a very foreign concept as far as our skills and education. Jim was a typical, logical engineer, and he was not what we would call “people oriented”. He liked people, he just didn’t relate to groups of people or trying to influence them. We both had a strong work ethic and a willingness to learn something new. These are critical qualities to have. One of the things I’m most grateful for is that we had the courage to start and to try…that really is a decision…. not a talent! Make a note!! Many are stalled right there, because an option is out of their desired comfort zone, or not where their talent lies. At some point, we must decide which is more important— comfort or the goal/dream/result. The majority of people that I have met have dreams and desires of how they would like their life to be. Unfortunately, many do not achieve their dreams. The reasons for this might not be as obvious as you would think. There are many factors that influence or disrupt the path to your success. I’d like to share some of the reasons for why many people get stuck. This won’t be an exhaustive list, but rather some of my observations though the years. Other People’s Opinion
This is possibly the biggest deterrent to why people do not attain their dream! This is both unfortunate, and very common. When someone identifies something that they want to accomplish, and they share it with others (believing they will have support and encouragement), often they are surprised by negative feedback. There are many possible reasons for negative reactions. It could be that the person has no idea how important this is to you. It’s best to be prepared internally, and to think through who you decide to share your idea with, and under what circumstances. I’ve seen many people decide to share our business concept with friends and family and receive negative or suspicious reactions. Jim and I received the same kind of responses from some people. My brother, who I have huge respect for and is highly intelligent, was very negative and said that it would never work, and that I was not suited for business. I was mostly surprised by that reaction, and I was also somewhat hurt by this. He was important as an older brother. However, I realized that engineers thought differently, and he didn’t have sufficient information to process whether it was a good fit for us. Thus - I discarded the input! In addition, we had met multiple engineers who had built this business successfully. Hence, we continued looking for those who were interested. If you’re going to succeed at anything significant, you can’t take these encounters personally, or you will be stopped. We must realize that there are many reasons that people resist. Timing is so important, as is their lack of information regarding what’s at stake. In addition, they may not be interested in something more in their life at this point. I often say, “no” does not mean “no” forever. When you lead, others will follow. We had many people decide to build the business at a later time after (and because) we continued. Taking a survey from others is never a good idea. You receive random advice that is often not based on anything of value. It’s important to get input regarding decisions from the right people — those who have experience based on concrete input, or those who are going where you want to go! Fear is not a strategy
Fear is probably the biggest reason that people resist stepping out of the “norm”. If you want to achieve anything (in any area), you must desire change and begin the process of learning from those who have achieved. Again, this is a decision — You have the ability to learn— just like everyone who succeeds. In the beginning, I was very uncomfortable talking to people that I didn’t know - about products or about business! I soon realized this is what I call a “luxury that I could not afford” - if, indeed, I wanted my dream! You cannot have it both ways - your choices are - change, grow and have a different life - or stay in your comfort zone with what you know and what you have currently. The solution to overcoming fear is to learn from those who have knowledge, read books, and good old fashioned practice! This is how we all gain confidence. No one is good at something in the beginning - it’s a myth that some are “born good at things”. In order to continue when it’s difficult, it is crucial to go back to the real issue— Is it worth it to have what you want out of life?? Can you learn, and are you teachable? Courage comes to mind! What is your identity?
Another stopper on the journey to achieve something you want, is “how do you see yourself”? I saw myself as a teacher who was hard working - and a dreamer. I did not see myself as special or having great talents. I was not a “business” person, nor would I have described myself as a leader or a joiner of things. How I saw myself needed to change, if I wanted a new life. Jim and I needed to see ourselves as capable and able to lead if we wanted our business to grow. This brings me to an undeniable, key concept— Self Talk! The ongoing research is foolproof, and the premise is— “what you say and what you believe about yourself overrides what you may want to think”. Why argue with the research? We accepted that as fact and decided “Why not us… why not me?” I listed the qualities that we had and felt they were good, and I understood we could continue to learn and change. We were very willing to work, and we were open to learning things that were uncomfortable. We were also willing to take advice from those we did not relate to in some cases. This is a huge step for people and very important. Ego is misplaced if it keeps you from learning what you need in order to succeed. Many stumble “big time” on this issue. Just because you are competent in one area, does not mean you are competent where you need to be. You cannot outwork DOUBT
I’ll briefly address the last detriment to any kind of success. Doubt is a killer to new growth and momentum. It also grows by leaps and bounds if it is at allencouraged! I used to tell people to spray ‘Round-up’ on any doubt… it is a weed!! Here’s something to realize - you really can’t “out-work” doubt! You must replace it with an equally powerful emotion! The remedy I’ve used for years is expectation!! People ask, “what’s the difference between working with a goal, or without a goal?” — without hesitation, I say, results!! Doubt douses expectation. You cannot maintain both thoughts. Doubt makes everything harder!! My suggestion is when a negative thought arises, replace it with a new, positive thought. I began thinking - I can do this…I can learn this…I can get good!! Create a new habit — expectation is your new best friend. It can make everything easier and automatic. In essence, it comes back to disciplining your “self-talk”. It takes lots of practice to eliminate toxic thinking. My advice is to stay away from negative people when possible, and back off the tv or ongoing social media. What are they going to do for your thinking process? Our thoughts start to line up with other thinking as a result of our ongoing exposure to someone or something. This too, is well documented by massive research. Why expend energy ignoring what is proven? There is no need to be unkind to people - just limit your exposure and dilute those experiences with great books, CDs, podcasts, and healthy thinking friends. As I wrap up, I want to address the last part of my opening premise. Have the courage to start… and the heart to finish! I can’t emphasize how important “heart“ is!!
When Jim and I were first building our business, we had very slow growth and few results. This was a new experience for Jim - me, not so much! We were ineffective and not progressing - lots of experience, but no concrete results. There were many disappointments and setbacks in the first 3 years, and we were working consistently. During this time, our second child was born. Eric had a major birth defect. He had extended hospital stays and several brain surgeries for months, and the insurance ran out the first month! This was daunting and discouraging to say the least. Life happens, and in most situations where someone is “in the zone”, the wheels come off - so to speak. It was decision time!!! Do we really believe what we see is possible, and are we willing to climb out of this huge debt and have our dream? This is where “heart” comes into play. We realized that we had been exposed to too much and seen too much of what was possible to ever go back!! We dug in and redoubled our efforts and were determined to get it done. We had faith in God and relied on Him to lead. Our dream was stronger than our obstacles. I believe that you can develop the heart that is needed - the heart of a champion - by persisting, readjusting, controlling self-talk, associating with like-minded people, taking on a new identity of expectation, not giving up, and prayer!! Never forget, there are stumbling blocks and setbacks and disappointments to taking the “familiar road”, as well! There just might not be the dream or the payoff that you desire. The familiar, comfortable road is a huge price to pay in my book. I contrast our life and Eric’s life now with success in our business and all the wonderful things that we have learned and the ability to provide for what he needs with our lives had we not pursued our dreams. There is no comparison! I could not put a price on all that we have learned, what we became, and what we have been given - it was worth all of the change and discipline in thinking! There is a price to both choices… decide and persist! It will be so worth it. Nancy
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